Metamorphasis

I’ve dug myself into an Instagram hole.  Does that ever happen to you?

I keep looking at pictures of impossibly beautiful people…we’re talking heavily, heavily tattooed, big gorgeous jewelry in their stretched ears, pensive expressions…I can’t stop looking at them. I deeply love modified people and I always have.  So, I’ve decided to give my own outward appearance an overhaul. 

I have a good number of tattoos, but not nearly enough considering how much I love them.  I love everything about getting tattooed—finding inspiration for the design, drawing it or seeing it drawn up by the tattooer, the act of having it done, caring for it as it heals, and then the repeated gratification of seeing it on myself over and over again, forever.  That definitely factors into why I’m making a career out of it, of course.  I fucking. love. tattoos.

I also love food though, especially junk food, and my body shows it.  Because of that, I’ve only really tattooed my extremities…feet, hands a little, forearms, lower legs…and just one on my thigh, one in the middle of my back, and my upper right arm.  I’ve always intended to lose the weight (don’t we all), and thought that my tattoos would end up looking weird if I got too many of them in the fatter areas of my body (does that make sense?  I feel like it does, but who knows).  So, I’m done with being overweight.  I’ve said that a million times, but this time it has to stick.  I think I’ve finally got the right mindset.

All the epically sexy modified Instagram people are unknowingly helping me with this, by being inspiration.  Inspiration for my future physical self.  I want to be lean, healthy, and have a better canvas for body art.  I want to be tattooed as fuck, and I know I’ll never end up doing it unless I size down quite a bit.  This entire post so far is probably the epitome of vapid nonsense.  Here’s the thing though—something about modifying my body with piercings and tattoos goes beyond the superficial, the visible.  With every permanent adornment, every alteration, I somehow feel closer to my true self. 

I experienced this in the most profound way in November of 2018, when I got both of my feet tattooed.  These were pretty large designs, taking up all the space from the base of my toes to above the ankles.  There was bare, empty skin there, and then a few hours later, heavy blackwork tattoos that were meaningful to me.  Bare, then covered, forever.  The experience was truly emotional.  It was as if getting these tattoos uncovered a piece of my deeper self, and made it apparent to the rest of the world.  With each tattoo I get, I see my outward appearance starting to align more with who I really am.

That’s part of why I’ve been obsessing over the many alternative models on IG…I think they look like their true selves.  They’ve spent time and money, pain and patience, cultivating their physical appearance to such a degree.  Why would anyone do that?  It’s more than simple beautification…I feel there’s a quest for personal truth, for a kind of baring of the soul, in body modification as we know it today.

Thoughts? If you have tattoos and piercings, do you feel the same way?

Thanks for reading!